Attempt #2

starts monday 11/16/09!!!

When my sin is all that I can see
Your grace remains the shelter that I seek
And when my weakness is all I can give
Your gentle Spirit gives me strength again

Lazy Sunday Morning

Wish i could be lazy on Sunday mornings =p

back in the days

i feel like im always thinking about the past.
friends, events, the feeling of having no weight on your shoulder.

Back in the days when I was young I'm not a kid anymore
But some days I sit and wish I was a kid again

these days i feel like im slowly straying away from God.
slowly falling away. feeling like a lost kid in an amusement park.

I miss those days, and so I pout like a grown jerk
Wishin all I had to do now, was finish homework
It's true, you don't realize really what you got til it's gone
and I'm not, gonna sing another sad song, but
Sometimes I do sit and reminesce then
Think about the years I was raised, back in the days

this song brings back so many nostalgic memories of my childhood.

i was planning on writing more... but... dont feel like it anymore
next blog will be happy

Do your homework everyday, Keep those D's and F's away.

I remember mrs. chu would always say this in class. and everytime she said that i thought to myself... stfu mrs. chu, you dont know what your talking about.But now that i think about it.. she was right. I really understood what she was talking about last year. Never did my homework, never studied, never did anything. just slept at home and wasted the day away. i was looking through my old xanga, and i came across this post

Friday, June 06, 2008

Summer this year was sort of a bust. C+ in chem, which is pretty sad. should of payed attention in class. lots to look forward to this summer. hang with friends, lee's, camp agape, lots and lots of summer work for eng 3H, summer work for krn 3H, summer school, and more to come. not really looking forward to my junior year. gotta step up my game and stop playing after summer. whatever i get next year decides which college ill be going to. UCLA and those other crazy schools are out of my league. for now.. i want to go to UCI. anyways, im going to try and stay away from those type of thoughts for now. hopefully ill be able to go out every day this and next week before summer school. in about 2 months i think im moving to corona. looking forward to it because its a new house, new place, sounds interesting. not looking forward to it because its too far from everything. takes 30 min to get to school without traffic, 34 min to church. going to feel isolated there. and the neighborhood smells because its sorta on the border of corona and chino... thats it for now. getting tired and i have to wake up early so i can go to some park for a 80's themed picnic...

Thats what i wanted to do for my junior year. but becuase i was so lazy and stupid i failed miserably. My goal for college was UCI. Now i'd be lucky to get into cal poly or CSF. i duno what i was thinking last year. i dont even know what im thinking this year. im already going back to my junior routine. nap, tv, computer, eat. thats all i did last year. and honestly i really regret that. if i at least just did my hw. not even study. just do my hw. i would probably still have a chance at UCI. but now.. fuck. today i was thinking about everything thats been going on, and my past decisions. And now that i really think about it, 90% of the stuff i've done in the last 1.. maybe 2 years have been stupid decisions. and over half of them i cant even fix, or its really hard to fix. i kind of understand why my moms so strict with me. kinda.. she just wants me to have a good life when i grow up. I know my moms not as strict as some parents. i get to go out occasionally and chill with friends. but honestly, i think if i was totally free i'd be doing better in school. i know its a stupid mentality, but when my mom doesnt let me go out, or... yea doesnt let me go out. i go into a i dont want to do anything productive anymore mode. where i feel like im getting back at my mom for not letting me go out by doing absolutely nothing productive. and i know it sounds immature.. but yea. but now that i think about it.. wow. im stupid.
conclusion. this year im going to really try in school. and if i end up straying away, hopefully i can glance back at this blog and straighten myself out. the whole reason for this blog is for me to remember what i need to do. anyways, i just blanked out and forgot what else i was going to write.
side note. moving to corona is still a possibility. we already have the house there, just dont know if we're going to move in or not. but i think moving to corona might be better for me. i'd be able to concentrate more on school. might get a car. and maybe i'd even be able to sleep over more... -_-x

so

tired........

kogi truck

was pretty good. but it think it tasted alot better
to me becuase i was about to die of hunger...
gave my mom a burrito cause she was mad at me
and she suddenly became happy =D lol.

anyways. senior year is pretty chill. only hard class
is calc2. and... the first lesson.. wth.
sounded so easy in class. but when i sat down to do it at home
... WTH. took me 15 min for one problem -_-x
more later...

I need

a job

best skit ever

Adam & Eve (Summer Retreat 09)

yesterday

was alright. kinda boring. but of course its going to be boring.
didnt get to do anything cause i had to go home.
i liked today though. registration then went to lees.
chris was supposed to meet me up but he came 1-2 hours late.
so i just talked with jennifer. then chris bought me "the beast" =D lol
chilled w/ chris and ashley for a little. but got in trouble from mrs. lee
cause chris was supposed to be studying -_-x.
so she made me grade papers lol. but we snuck around and chilled. got introuble
again. rinse and repeat. nick picked me up and now we're all chillin at josh's house.
wonder whats next?

i feel

so out of it these days

wth

couldnt fall asleep until 5 last night...

missed

my registration...
crap

fuck you

beach camping

was pretty fun. more chill than fun in my opinion =P.
too lazy to go over what happened. but alot of people wrote about
the three days we were there. so just look at theirs? =D
all im going to say is... i got a horrible wife beater tan -_-x

Milal camp

was pretty fun. even though it was exhausting...
wednesday - paired with bill
thursday - paired with bobby
friday - paired with caleb

too lazy to go into details but it was pretty fun.
i got to meet a few new people.. one or two LOL
and i got alot closer to the people i didnt really know in
my branch. i actually got pretty chill with the guys i never
really liked =D.. anyways yea. im too lazy and tired to write anymore.
goodnight.. goodday.. farewell.. aurevuar (how do you spell it?)
TTFN - TA TA FOR NOW

stress

stress stress stress stress stress...
summer schools a drag.
mom never lets me go out these days
staying up at night to do hw
waking up early to get to school on time
running to class every morning so i wont be late
looking at my civics test grades
thinking about my civics tests
doing civics and econ hw
listening to cameron's lectures
blah blah blah blah blah blah
i wish there were better ways to relieve stress =P

Milal camp. wed-friday
no phone or computer on thursday and half of wednesday?
hopefully friday wont be too hard.
i have to watch caleb... at knotts........................

oh yea. and michelle park is sad. but she should be happy.
because i included her in my blog. which is a very big honor =D
lol jkjk. but yea. cheer up!! its summer. and you have no summer school =P
if your bored i'll play hoverkart with you LOL. if your mad... i'll cheer you up... =D
ok i wrote a blog.. part of a blog. for you. now its your turn =D haha

it is 2:22

and i am writing an essay.
i hate my life -_-x

work

I might get a job over the summer =P
8 hours 5 days a week T.T
if i dont get it... hello summer school

I have

a penpal =D LOL.

3 days

so far. hopefully i can last.
didnt think it would be so hard though -_-

Michelle Keeeeeeeeeeeeeem

is making me write a blog for her. uhhh. so michelle kim is having a bad day today. but she shouldnt be. do you know why? becuase im writing her a blog =D. and whenever i do anythign it makes everythign better. wow im spelling everything wrong but its ok! cause whenever i do anythign it makes everything better =D. sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Mighty
Ingeneous
Caring
Happy
Elevated
Laughing
Loving
Elevated.... <-- why is E so hard -_-

Kind
Imprtant
Mother? o.o

yes. Michelle Kim is a mighty ingenious caring happy elevated laughing loving elevated kind and important mother.yes... she's a mom. if you want to know who the father is... ask her =D

i was about to write a story about michelle... but i forgot it all -_-

Note to self - i owe michelle yogurt (cherry on top?)

music

this is probably going to be another short post.
working on a powerpoint presentation...

so music. lately i've been using music to help me calm down.
so much craps been going on and i feel like music is one of the only ways to cope with it.
depending on the song, music can get you hyped up, make you sad, happy, or just calm you down. lately i've been listening to alot of christian music cause it just makes me happy and really does help me to calm down.
Chris Tomlin - Come Home Running
^--- at the moment thats pretty much my favorite song. when i feel like there's nothing left or there's nowhere to look to for help, i listen to the lyrics and it just puts a smile on my face and calms my heart.

So come home running
His arms are open wide
His name is Jesus
He understands
He is the answer
You are looking for
So come home running
Just as you are

just knowing that no matter how hard it gets or how much i change Jesus will always be there for me with open arms. never to judge me or call me names. its just amazing.

SWAP

tomorrow -_- from 8:30-10
then milal from 10-3.....

wow i havent written a blog for a while.
a long one.... maybe later =D

nvm

still have my phone =D

just got

fucked over.
no more phone.
dont ask

AP Test..

D=

Words of an over protective brother

Convo #2 with Jae. You might thave to highlight again to read

[23:43] moses kimm: what would you say
[23:43] moses kimm: if i told you i liked your sister
[23:43] moses kimm: (i dont)
[23:43] lilaznhungryboi: dont ask
[23:43] moses kimm: LOL
[23:43] lilaznhungryboi: you might not exist
[23:43] moses kimm: how do you ever expect her to get married an
[23:43] moses kimm: AHAHHAHA
[23:43] moses kimm: man
[23:43] moses kimm: *

A lesson learned.

Highlight to read.

[23:34] moses kimm: jae
[23:34] lilaznhungryboi: yo
[23:34] moses kimm: ithink
[23:35] moses kimm: im in love
[23:35] moses kimm: with
[23:35] moses kimm: your sister.....
[23:35] moses kimm: HAHAHA JKJK
[23:35] moses kimm: whats up?
[23:35] lilaznhungryboi: who is this
[23:35] moses kimm: moses
[23:35] moses kimm: i was js playin
[23:35] moses kimm: wanted to see your reactin
[23:35] moses kimm: but got scared
[23:35] moses kimm: so i said jk really fast
[23:35] moses kimm: hahaha
[23:35] lilaznhungryboi: ill see you on friday moses
[23:35] moses kimm: HAHAHA NO
[23:35] moses kimm: JAE
[23:35] moses kimm: HAHAHA
[23:35] lilaznhungryboi: unntil then peace


What was the lesson learned?.... dont joke around with jae -_-

Spring Break

wow. already over.. went by so fast lol.
at least i got to go out every day except one
even though im "grounded" -_-

Friday- waited in library after school to wait for friends. lisa was there so we just talked and did math hw. After everyone else got out of school, went to go eat some all you can eat korean bbq with school group + sam. The workers were freakin gay and kept bugging us about giving tip. we were standing outside after we ate just talking and one comes out and said "the check didnt inclue tip.." and went back in. but it was pretty fun. havent had a chance to hang out with them in along time cuase usually my mom and sister never get me go out. after bbq, went to egames for a bit then church.
Sat- milal... then i dont remember if i did anything after.
Sun- chruch. after church did somethign? not sure. then pool/spa at michaels house with the church people.

wow this is takign forever LOL. ill update more later. need to stop procrastinating and do hw!

I got

my license =D

a sense of

depression.

lately..

ive been down. then up. then down. then up. ect.. life's been moving really fast and i cant seem to catch up. i hate feeling down. especially cause im usually very happy or passive, and feeling down is just so... depressing. im not entirely sure why im feeling down. life's moving too fast? or maybe the feeling of being locked up in my house everyday. sure i go out every once in awhile, but.... yea. looking forward to one of these fridays, when i go eat some ppa ping soo (is that how you spell it?) with susan, sharon, and lisa(maybe). im sure theres more to it than that. but i cant really figure it out right now. school's a drag. dragging myself out of bed everyday thinking "when will this end" instead of "yay. im going to school right now!". i usually find myself dead in 0 period, i hate first period, second period... its alright i guess. third i usually fall asleep. and the only class that i actually look forward to is my fourth.

havent really had a chance to hang out with my school friends in awhile. whenever i go out, its usually with church people. i mean, there's nothign wrong with that. i love hanging out with church people. its just... school friends, yea. the last time that i was able to hang out with all my school friends was.... dang. a few weeks ago. at john's bbq. i had a chance to hang out iwth the whole group again. they were planning on just chilling and renting out a hotel..motel? room. but mom didnt let me go. next time...

social surf. Social surf is when people in Best Buddies take the buddies(students with intellectual disabilities) around school and introduce them to everyone. i think its a really good idea, becuase most of the time there just in the classroom, away from all the other students. but during this one week, they get to meet new people, and other people meet them. If you see me walking around... say hi and get to know the buddies or something. during lunch, this whole week.. except thursday

Today...

was a good day. so after school. wait no. it was a PRETTY good day. after school i went to int'l deli and got THE BEAST =D. if you dont know what that is, its a sandwich with pastrami, bbq sauce, lettuce, tomato, and onions =D, its... the... best... thing... ever. BUT, while i was ordering, the president of the club i'm in called me. so i picked up and i said "hello?" and she said.. "Moses, why arent you at the officers meeting?" i was like... CRAP SADL:KASDLJSADLKADS. so as punsihment i have to do 3 days of social surf instead of 2 and i have to find some place for a fundraiser? somethign liek that. so i ate THE BEAST, but i was still hungry. so i ate some kimbab. went to tutor at 4. got home at 5:30. ate some more. uhh. watched grid iron gang on tv. and now im writing this blog. well.. my day doesnt sound that good. but it was. becuase i got to eat the BEAST =D. uhh.
....
so lately i've been getting my phone taken away.. ALOT. and im not allowed to go on the computer, but i go on every once in awhile. so all i have to use is my mylo. if you dont know that a mylo is.. look it up (mylo com-2 or somehting like that). its pretty useful. you can go on aim, skype, yahoo, and google messenger. i downloaded like 80 games into it... you can go online, youtube, ect. i think you can even use blogspot with it =O. and it has a touch screen too!. the only bad thing about it.. is uh. its kinda fat? uhh. yea

After reading pauls blog about dreams ( click here), i remembered one that i had a couple weeks ago. and i thought i'd share it with whoever reads this because.... i think its pretty funny. so in this dream there were two sides, and both sides were fighting each other. On the side i was on.... everyone had superpowers =D. me and like 4 other people (i forgot who they were, but they were all people i knew) had this power where you point somewhere, pull your finger.... and a laser comes out =D LOL. so we just ran around blowing stuff up and shooting the people on the opposite team. and while we were doing that, someone figured out that you can make the laser thing turn into a hand? and you could pick up people with it..... so we ... yea =D fun. thats all i remember, but it was a very interesting and fun dream =P.


life has been very boring lately. i want something BIG to happen. something fun and exciting. something awesome........ anyone want to go bowling? =D

random question: Are you easily embarrassed?

I waesnt planning on blogging today.. but irene told me to.

Saturday- was tireing. woke up late and i had to rush to get to milal by 9:50 so i wouldnt have to clean up afterwards. got there at 9:51 but i argued with mrs. pyun and later wrote 9:50 on the sign in sheet =D. caleb (the person i look after) was really good most of the day. we did activitiess, then me and steven went to the family room and chilled, went back down, did arts and crafts, then we left and walked around cause we didnt want to do anythign else. One of the new students..... yea. hes... i cant explain. arrogant? annoying? EVIL. bosses people around, talks back, yea. He already pissed off jason (teacher), me, steven, and who knows who else. i know i sholdn tbe talking about the students this way, but yea. im not even sure what he has.. he seems perfectly fine, except both his legs are like.. twisted? i duno i cant explain it. the guy who watches him looked miserable the whole day. anyways, back to caleb. so when all the parents were picking up the students, caleb kept trying to go into other cars. so me and steven would run, pick him up or drag him away. then he started crying and going crazy..... i was just waiting for his mom to come cuase... he calms down when shes around. but when she finally came, he kept on crying and wouldnt go to her, and kept trying to go to other cars -__-. so after like 10 minutes of chasing him and carrying him around, i got mad.. picked him up... and threw him onto his carseat... that was the end of that =D. after all the students left we had our weekly meeting. jason said somehting about all the volenteers in BB being lazy and if they continue to be lazy they shold just stop coming (i think he was talking to all the fobs =D). yea. went home. knocked out till like 8. ate, then from 8:30-11 i dont remember anything. turned on the tv and watched million dollar baby till like 2?

Today - was alright. went to church, ate, then i was SUPPOSED to watch a movie with my mom and josh... but my mom didnt want to cause it was raining. so we dropped josh off at home and went home.. felt kinda bad becuase me and josh were looking forward to watching the movie... i think.. and we ended up not watching it, so jsoh came with me for no reason. got home then charlie called me to ask what i was doing and wanted to know where jay was. so i called jay and he said he was home, but he told me charlie and big joe were going to his house... meaning charlie already knew where jay was o.o. he told me to call big joe and tell him to pick me up, so i did. i was pretty surprised cuase my mom let me go out (im "grounded" or somehting like that). went to jays house, chilled, ate some beef-a-ronie or something? then went home. played blockles with june and now im writing this thing.

uhhhh.. irene says my blogs have no emotion.. or something like that. and she said somehting else it hink, but i dont remember.. how are you supposed to put emotion into something like this? o.o

random question: have you ever eaten a crayon?

Milal

tomorrow... please dont rain -_-

on a side note: yesterday i played one game of tetris on my phone for an hour. I was about to study for aparthistory.. but i thought "hey, just one game of tetris. it wont take that long" next thing i know, i look up and the clock says 12 -_-. so i killed myself. the end <-- and it one ONE game. i didnt die at all during that one hour =D

my second.

semester schedule goes from 0-4th period, which means that i end school at lunch. The good thing about that is no more crappy school food, and i save money. the bad thing.... no one else gets out at that time. I get home at around 12:30 and i find myself doing nothing. i just sit on my desk (im not supposed to go on the computer) and daze off or think about random stuff. hopefully i'll figure something out to occupy my time.

today: it rained alot. I like rain, but at the same time i dont. When it rains everything feels so gloomy and unhappy..... After it rains, everything feels so fresh and clean. .. yea i duno. Had 2 tests today... ap calc and ap art history. ap calc test was easy.. like super easy. but the art history test... not too sure about that. this weird girl in my class got caught cheeting on the arthistory test. apparently she wrote notes on her hand... in korean. But the REALLY weird thing about it is.. she isnt korean. i duno. i think thats kinda weird. After school my sister picked me up and we went to ralphs cause she needed stuff to make... cream puffs? o.o but we also bought those frito twist bbq things =D and bought some chicken tortilla soup.. and bought... jalapeno cheese bread? something like that. all in all it was an alright day.

junior year...

is not working out the way i was hoping it would.
i started the year thinking "ok ill do all my hw and study
hard for tests. get straight A's this year =D".... and i ended up
doing almost no hw and studying for none of my tests.
First semester was a huge disappointment for me. Hopefully
i'll be able to step it up and do my work 2nd semester =P.
My goal for junior year was to do well and get into UCI.
now... Cal poly?

anyways.. i had this blogspot thing for awhile but never used it.
I was planning on studying for my Ap art history test tomorrow...
but its such a hassel.. hassal... hasal? o.o...

how are you supposed to end these things?